Finding Cam, Looking Through A New Lens, et cetera.

For a long time, I’ve hated my name. And it’s always been strange to me that other people get to choose a name for you without your say so. Other people get to decide this incredibly HUGE thing that sticks to your back for your whole life.

I think the story goes that my older brother (who was 5 at the time of my birth) had a crush on a girl named “Candice” in his preschool class. So when my mom asked him what names he thought would be cool, he offered that as an option.

Personally, any variation of Candice has been an issue for me. Candi. Candy. CanCan.

To all of which I say, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT.

But in 2016 when I signed with my then-agent and we inked a book deal with Page Street to publish HOME AND AWAY, I kept quiet and said nothing when we all slapped “Candice Montgomery” on the cover.

For a while, it was cool. Because I wanted all the people from my past to know that I had done this AMAZING thing. I had succeeded in spite of them. I wanted every person from my highly racist baptist christian high school to remember me, because they sure as fuck had fun ignoring me every Monday through Friday we spent in hell. I wanted every cishetero boy who broke my heart in college to know I was better than them.

But realistically, none of that shit was for me. Those feelings were for and about them. And that’s why it was all wrong. Who gives a fuck about any of those people. I write these books for me and for my readers. I had to get away from that mentality that I STILL needed to prove something when I didn’t. When I don’t.

And, y’know, it didn’t really occur to me until earlier this year, that all my friends call me Cam. And every time, it feels so much more right than anything else ever has. It’s gender neutral. It’s mine and my choice and it feels so fucking good to pick that for myself. To not have to prove to people that I can fit my gender expression into a “Candice.”

Cam is, simply, my initials.

Candice. Amanda. Montgomery.

But that Full Government Name hoe is no more.

TL;DR - My name is Cam Montgomery. And from now on, all my books and future endeavors will say that.

I’m publishing as Cam Montgomery and I’m doing it for me. And holy hooker goddamn, does it feel good.

xx Cam